Pixie Dust is for Chumps

It's my fault for not better documenting my journey that I've been on as of late. God's work in my life has been very intense. The Holy Spirit has been moving in and around me in powerful ways as as he teaches me new things. I'll try to get the good stuff down more often, but earnestly, come find me and ask me any question you want if you are curious, if there's something you disagree with, or if you are confused. God desires for us to get to know him on a very deep level and if there's any way I can help, I'd be happy to.

What prompted this post is a dream I had last night. In my dream I was so confident in the Holy Spirit that I was able to fly, and I did, through some pretty cool landscapes. Yes, it was cool and fun, but it really spoke to me about the power of the Holy Spirit and the incredible power that is available to those that have the Holy Spirit living in them.

On a side note, a friend once asked me how I knew God loves me. I told her that the bible told me so; a solid answer. If you're reading this now, I can tell you that he loves me in full confidence, because he's told me personally in addition to the promise of his word.

This is a prayer snippet that I've been repeating:
Lord turn up my ears,
quiet the noise around me,
increase the receptiveness of my heart,
and speak loudly

Ask and you shall receive. It's worth a shot, right?

Contentment with Small Fires

"Studious. That's the word that's coming to mind." I was impressed. There's only one way that this brother in Christ that I had just met was able to discern my spiritual disciplines without knowing me at all. The Holy Spirit had something to say to me through him. "God wants you to know that your efforts will go rewarded." That was the zinger. Tears escape my eyes for the first time in a long time. I had wondered if my devotions would pay off for a while now. If there's one thing I've learned over the last few months is that I can be very impatient when waiting upon the Lord. One by one others around me brought a prophetic word, tailored specifically for where I was at in my walk with God, given through words, phrases and vivid visuals. It was simply amazing, and a little mind blowing. It became apparent that I was underexposed to this kind of activity. That could be partly my fault, but maybe we aren't utilizing God's gifts as much as we should. That's part of Francis Chan's case that he makes in his new book, Forgotten God. Ever since I picked that thing up, it's been a series of learning experiences regarding the Holy Spirit. This night happened to be a crash course on gifts of the Spirit. After we finished praying, one of my friends told me that she saw a tree with fire at the roots. The fire was the fire of my heart that God started. It was a small fire, but I was told to not fear small fires. I've been hoping for a while that the fire would be unleashed and engulf this tree out of my impatience, but I am not to be discontented with the small fire. It was enough to ease my anxiousness for a while, at least. It was a lot of God in one night. One last adjective attributed to me was thrown my way: firestarter. This was a task or objective, not God giving me a medal. There's a lot of trees that need to be set fire to. I'm not the one to start it, but we have all been called to spread it. I always did considered myself a pyro.

The Big Picture

An upside of doing repetitive, tedious work outdoors is that I have my iphone, armed with podcasts to help those hours pass. I sometimes listen to Francis Chan's church's podcast. He's not a pastor there anymore but sometimes he comes back and gives a message now and then. He was saying that if there is one message that he could say that he has no regrets about saying without reservation is the immense holiness of God that he has found through scripture. With his vivid depictions of the holy character of God as found in the scripture, he helped paint a picture of how we should strive to hold up God amidst our inability as humans to comprehend his vast holiness. I was taken back by some of my subconscious reactions that I found myself having. I discovered that I am incredibly selfish and self-centered when I take the effort to be completely honest with myself. I struggle with the fact that I am completely insignificant in the big scheme of things, overshadowed by the holy one, the one deserving of our praise. In times of weakness I want my faith to benefit me, to further my quest for spiritual greatness and success. Of course if someone asked me who I am in the big picture, where my place was in the universe, I would immediately tell them it is in the service of the almighty God who loves us. It's not that I don't consciously disbelieve this; I would say these things in full confidence. The main problem I found is this: being confronted with how big God is has a tendency to make you feel insecure about how small you really are. This thought process needs to be realized so you can take the steps you need to to change this outlook. Maybe you truly have qualities of selflessness and are aware of your place in the story. I thought I did too. Perhaps what we need is to stop and give context to who we are and what we do in light of the purpose we have in the Kingdom of God before we start holding ourselves on the same level as we do our creator.

The Jason Bourne of Relationships

I thought this would be the coolest sounding title for this post. I was thinking about relationships and how some people seem to get amnesia when it comes to your relationship with them. One day you'll be discussing the finer points of Renee Descartes and The Matrix, and the next you're as awkward as the fox and the hound when the hound realizes his true calling. This phenomenon can be natural or self-inflicted, depending on how much you like the person or how the natural toll time and space have taken. The natural way is typically OK and even desirable some times, but the self-inflicted route is super lame. Don't be super lame. People are not actors on your stage like the superficial party scene would have you believe. Try to treat human souls with the respect and dignity they deserve. Maybe then you'll realize that it's ultimately not all about you. For the record, the west coast is a far cry from the relationship zombie apocalypse that was Kansas. At the least people here will give you the time of day. Not to hate on any of my Mennonite home boys. You're the cream of the corn crop, yo.

The Heart of Worship

I don't usually go to time out, but I was asked to play and reluctantly took up the offer. I would tell you that I am anxious to use my talents for the Lord, which is true, but sometimes I just wanna make some music with my peers. I was feeling a little rusty during the practice, but nothing to get overly nervous about. The time came to play and I was really digging the mood set by the ridiculous amount of lit candles they had out. I assured those setting them up that you can never have enough candles, and wasn't saying it just to be nice. Playing modern worship with a band would seem like a stark contrast to the tradition that the candles have. You'd almost expect Gregorian chants as you came into the chapel, but I like the atmosphere of it all. The set was going well, and I wasn't the only one feeling the potency of the worship songs in my heart. I looked at the rest of the band and was really blessed when I saw that every single member of the band, no matter what instrument they were playing, were singing along with the vocalists. Call it a mini-epiphany if you will, but it reminded me of what worship is really about. It's about where your heart is. Music is simply a manifestation of the state of your heart in response to God's love. That being said, I'd like to share a bucket list item with you: worshiping alongside an angel or angels. Christians can get a little skeptical to something like that, but it's understandable. Evidences of the supernatural are very limited in America but our God is still a supernatural God. Besides, I've had a friend who's experienced exactly that. Jason Upton, the worship artist even has a recorded track of singing with angels, which is way heavy to listen to. I'm not discouraged on the odds of it happening, because frankly, you don't need angels to experience God's power anyway.

Artsy Fartsy Puddin and pie

Ha. That would have been my first choice of a name of my blog. Pretty sure I'd regret it tomorrow though, or until the low-carb monster and late night delirium wear off. I guess I was going for sort of a parody of the typical artsy blogger with too much emotion to not pour their soul into the interwebs. Ha. I admit it is a tad liberating to write without being chased by a deadline or even a clear objective in mind. I imagine my posts will eventually take the form of words with meaning or purpose, but I can't make promises. I'm sorry in advance about subjecting those to the ADD ramblings of my one-track mind. The linguistic disarray will be inevitable. The ol noggin can run amuck sometimes. Hopefully getting thoughts down on paper/screen will provide some sort of sense of organization to the little nuggets of "profoundness" that when discovered are often buried by the clutter of everyday life.  Anyway, here's to "the blog experience" experiment. Cheers.