The Big Picture

An upside of doing repetitive, tedious work outdoors is that I have my iphone, armed with podcasts to help those hours pass. I sometimes listen to Francis Chan's church's podcast. He's not a pastor there anymore but sometimes he comes back and gives a message now and then. He was saying that if there is one message that he could say that he has no regrets about saying without reservation is the immense holiness of God that he has found through scripture. With his vivid depictions of the holy character of God as found in the scripture, he helped paint a picture of how we should strive to hold up God amidst our inability as humans to comprehend his vast holiness. I was taken back by some of my subconscious reactions that I found myself having. I discovered that I am incredibly selfish and self-centered when I take the effort to be completely honest with myself. I struggle with the fact that I am completely insignificant in the big scheme of things, overshadowed by the holy one, the one deserving of our praise. In times of weakness I want my faith to benefit me, to further my quest for spiritual greatness and success. Of course if someone asked me who I am in the big picture, where my place was in the universe, I would immediately tell them it is in the service of the almighty God who loves us. It's not that I don't consciously disbelieve this; I would say these things in full confidence. The main problem I found is this: being confronted with how big God is has a tendency to make you feel insecure about how small you really are. This thought process needs to be realized so you can take the steps you need to to change this outlook. Maybe you truly have qualities of selflessness and are aware of your place in the story. I thought I did too. Perhaps what we need is to stop and give context to who we are and what we do in light of the purpose we have in the Kingdom of God before we start holding ourselves on the same level as we do our creator.