The Big Picture

An upside of doing repetitive, tedious work outdoors is that I have my iphone, armed with podcasts to help those hours pass. I sometimes listen to Francis Chan's church's podcast. He's not a pastor there anymore but sometimes he comes back and gives a message now and then. He was saying that if there is one message that he could say that he has no regrets about saying without reservation is the immense holiness of God that he has found through scripture. With his vivid depictions of the holy character of God as found in the scripture, he helped paint a picture of how we should strive to hold up God amidst our inability as humans to comprehend his vast holiness. I was taken back by some of my subconscious reactions that I found myself having. I discovered that I am incredibly selfish and self-centered when I take the effort to be completely honest with myself. I struggle with the fact that I am completely insignificant in the big scheme of things, overshadowed by the holy one, the one deserving of our praise. In times of weakness I want my faith to benefit me, to further my quest for spiritual greatness and success. Of course if someone asked me who I am in the big picture, where my place was in the universe, I would immediately tell them it is in the service of the almighty God who loves us. It's not that I don't consciously disbelieve this; I would say these things in full confidence. The main problem I found is this: being confronted with how big God is has a tendency to make you feel insecure about how small you really are. This thought process needs to be realized so you can take the steps you need to to change this outlook. Maybe you truly have qualities of selflessness and are aware of your place in the story. I thought I did too. Perhaps what we need is to stop and give context to who we are and what we do in light of the purpose we have in the Kingdom of God before we start holding ourselves on the same level as we do our creator.

The Jason Bourne of Relationships

I thought this would be the coolest sounding title for this post. I was thinking about relationships and how some people seem to get amnesia when it comes to your relationship with them. One day you'll be discussing the finer points of Renee Descartes and The Matrix, and the next you're as awkward as the fox and the hound when the hound realizes his true calling. This phenomenon can be natural or self-inflicted, depending on how much you like the person or how the natural toll time and space have taken. The natural way is typically OK and even desirable some times, but the self-inflicted route is super lame. Don't be super lame. People are not actors on your stage like the superficial party scene would have you believe. Try to treat human souls with the respect and dignity they deserve. Maybe then you'll realize that it's ultimately not all about you. For the record, the west coast is a far cry from the relationship zombie apocalypse that was Kansas. At the least people here will give you the time of day. Not to hate on any of my Mennonite home boys. You're the cream of the corn crop, yo.

The Heart of Worship

I don't usually go to time out, but I was asked to play and reluctantly took up the offer. I would tell you that I am anxious to use my talents for the Lord, which is true, but sometimes I just wanna make some music with my peers. I was feeling a little rusty during the practice, but nothing to get overly nervous about. The time came to play and I was really digging the mood set by the ridiculous amount of lit candles they had out. I assured those setting them up that you can never have enough candles, and wasn't saying it just to be nice. Playing modern worship with a band would seem like a stark contrast to the tradition that the candles have. You'd almost expect Gregorian chants as you came into the chapel, but I like the atmosphere of it all. The set was going well, and I wasn't the only one feeling the potency of the worship songs in my heart. I looked at the rest of the band and was really blessed when I saw that every single member of the band, no matter what instrument they were playing, were singing along with the vocalists. Call it a mini-epiphany if you will, but it reminded me of what worship is really about. It's about where your heart is. Music is simply a manifestation of the state of your heart in response to God's love. That being said, I'd like to share a bucket list item with you: worshiping alongside an angel or angels. Christians can get a little skeptical to something like that, but it's understandable. Evidences of the supernatural are very limited in America but our God is still a supernatural God. Besides, I've had a friend who's experienced exactly that. Jason Upton, the worship artist even has a recorded track of singing with angels, which is way heavy to listen to. I'm not discouraged on the odds of it happening, because frankly, you don't need angels to experience God's power anyway.